INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS: WHAT’S IFS REALLY ALL ABOUT?

A visual explainer post exploring the life-changing IFS modality

Feel free to share this image explaining key elements of Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS).
Copyright: Lucy Orton 2024

Internal Family Systems Therapy is a wonderful therapy modality and you can read more here about how I incorporate it into my work as a therapist and coach.

The above image offers a mind map representation of the key elements of IFS, which some therapy seekers may find helpful when beginning to explore this transformative way of healing.

WE ALL HAVE PARTS:

At the very core of IFS is a key assumption.

We are not ONE thing, one entity, one singular personality. We are no more our worst moment any more than we are 100% our best highlight reel. We are complex and beautiful, flawed and incredible beings. And a big element of this is that we are MULTIPLE.

The best way of explaining this could be to think about the times when you feel caught between two ideas or options. Do I go to the gym or do I gobble down a whole packet of cookies? We have both sides inside of us. In IFS we call these parts, so in this case a ‘gym-goer part’ and a ‘cookie-lover’ part.

MANY PARTS ARE PROTECTORS:

Many of our parts have taken on specific jobs to help us.

And often they started with these ideas, roles and beliefs much earlier in our lives than the present day. These parts work really hard for us and they keep very focused on the job at hand (examples include perfectionist parts, work ethic parts, striving parts, parts that worry we are not up to the task, parts that feel overwhelmed).

Sometimes these parts behave in ways we like and admire, we feel grateful that we have them in our inner world. Sometimes they cause us challenges or we find that we have other parts of us that feel upset or frustrated or exhausted by their actions.

ALL PARTS HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS FOR US:

Linked to the above, while many parts protect us, IFS strongly believes that ALL parts have good intention for us.

Sometimes this good intention may be easy to see (going back to the ‘gym-goer’ part, its intention is to help our body stay healthy).

Other times it is harder and we can be left thinking “How does my critical part, that tells me I am awful or not enough, have my best intentions at heart?”.

By learning about and practicing IFS, we can start to truly welcome ALL our parts and get to know the messages they want us to understand.

WAIT, WHAT?

If you’ve already done therapy, especially modalities such as CBT or DBT, you may find this aspect of IFS a bit unusual. Surely I shouldn’t want to welcome the parts of me causing trouble in my life? I need to get rid of that part, yeah?

Yet, at the heart of Internal Family Systems is a belief that we have no bad parts (in fact, that is the name of IFS’ creator Richard Schwartz’s seminal book about IFS which you can buy here). In your IFS sessions you will experience a new, incredibly healing and transformative way of being with yourself, your system and welcoming all your parts together. Many clients describe going from feeling ‘at war’ with themselves to experiencing self love, harmony and balance in their system.

SOME OF OUR PARTS CAN BECOME EXTREME…

But I can understand the concerns that some people have around certain parts. They may want the parts who have become extreme to change - and fast.

In IFS, we get to know these parts with compassion and interest. We offer the parts our attention and we listen to their stories. When the time is right, we offer them empowering and healing space to change, evolve and become less extreme.

WE CAN ALL ACCESS OUR BEST ‘SELF’ AND TRANSFORM.

The most incredible element of the IFS framework (and blueprint for living) is the concept of Self and Self-Energy. You can read more about this fantastic source, that is already within you, in my previous blogpost here.

By working with an IFS therapist, you can experience the compassionate presence of Self to transform your inner landscape, your relationships with those around you - and your life.

LIKE TO LEARN MORE?

While I love the psycho-education and theory behind IFS, it is an extremely experiential modality and you have to try it to understand its true power and life-enhancing potential.

If you’d like to arrange a free 20 minute consult with me to find out more, you can click here, or if you’d like to go straight to booking an appointment to see how IFS feels to your system, you can go straight to my calendar here. I look forward to connecting with you soon!

Lucy Orton

IFS-Trained Therapist + Coach