People often say ‘but my childhood wasn’t so bad”, apologising for taking up their own healing space, even when sat in their own therapy chair. 

And yet. ‘Something’ has brought them to me. To seek help, to understand why they never feel enough, to make sense of a lonely or unhappy space they are noticing inside. 

Becoming a parent brings you to therapy…

That ‘something’ is frequently becoming parents themselves.

Having your first or subsequent children, dealing with the challenges, joys and milestones of watching them grow and wanting to do the best job you can for these precious beings, brings many parents a deep yearning to gain a better sense of self awareness and to avoid the mistakes of their personal experience of being parented. 

I really couldn’t wait to blog about Inside Out 2, and truly feel I could write many varied pieces on this rich film (and its predecessor). In time maybe I will. But for now, here is an exploration of how this fabulous sequel wonderfully blends with the Internal Family Systems Model (IFS), and why I will be continuing to recommend this special Pixar franchise to clients, colleagues and friends alike.

IFS Therapy Intensives provide an unparalleled opportunity for deep and focused healing, especially for those who grew up with EIPs. Here’s why they are so powerful for this client group:

1. Deep Dive into Healing:

An IFS Intensive allows for a concentrated and immersive experience, typically spanning from 3 hours to up to 14 hours, over a few consecutive, or close-together, days. This format (which can be adapted to individual client needs and schedules) accelerates the healing process, offering profound transformations that might take months or years with traditional weekly therapy.

2. Addressing Core Wounds:

ACEIPs often carry heavy burdens from their childhoods, including feelings of inadequacy, shame, and emotional loneliness. IFS Intensives provide the space and time to deeply engage with these wounded parts, understand their origins, and begin the process of unburdening them.

WHAT IS AN INTENSIVE? HOW DOES THIS DIFFER FROM REGULAR THERAPY?

An intensive therapy experience offers the unique chance to focus and take a deeper dive into your healing. Typically an intensive is at least 3 hours and we offer packages up to 14 hours in length, spread across consecutive (or closely-spaced out) days.

The nature of how intensives work means healing can be both accelerated and even more transformational than the results of typical therapy schedules (such as weekly, bi-weekly, monthly). While these more typical modes of therapy can be fantastic for many clients, offering a regular touchpoint into looking after yourself holistically, an intensive is a different approach which is becoming increasingly popular and in-demand with clients who want fast AND deep healing, that lasts.

IS AN IFS THERAPY INTENSIVE ‘TOO INTENSE’ AND WILL IT LEAVE ME FEELING DISCOMBOBULATED OR VERY UPSET?

Intensives ARE intense, because we will be thoroughly focused on you and your challenges, goals and parts for much longer stretches of time than a typical ‘therapy hour’.

However, IFS remains an incredibly respectful and gentle modality which never wants to shock or bypass any part of your system. As a result, IFS intensives should feel rich, deep and transformative but as your therapist, I will attune to your needs throughout and you should leave your experience feeling lighter, more hopeful and having experienced many beautiful healing moments.

As an IFS Therapist, I work with private clients in two main ways. One is the more traditional approach of weekly IFS sessions, which works very well for most clients, who enjoy the regularity of a weekly hour or 90 minutes to spend focused on their healing, processing and on gaining insight into their challenges and areas of need.

The second way is less typical but equally as powerful and has been borne out of requests from my clients who want to do even deeper work and spend more time healing and exploring their inner worlds. As a result of these elongated therapy sessions, and the results I have seen in clients, I work with a small number of clients each month doing intensive therapy blocks. This may look like a full day of therapy, with a break for lunch, or more often it means consecutive days of therapy sessions. During these intensives, we work to deepen healing and often to accelerate it.

HOW A BEAUTIFUL - AND DEVASTATING - FILM OFFERS A MOVING INSIGHT INTO LOVE, LOSS, HEALING AND HOW WE CAN PROCESS OUR OWN TRAUMA.

As a counsellor, IFS therapist and coach, I find that films in particular can offer insights that complement healing within the therapy room; what may take chapters to explain in a book can be expressed in moments in a piece of highly crafted cinematic art.

In this blog post, which is the first of several linking films to the deep work that I do with clients, I’m digging into a recent movie, All Of Us Are Strangers, that I think makes for extremely valuable watching to many clients going through their own healing and processing journeys.

I love nothing more than sharing resources and especially books or audiobooks that I feel are helpful to my clients. Often these resources touch on topics that we have worked on together and sometimes they can serve as a good way of clients getting deeper on certain between sessions.

In the case of Internal Family Systems Therapy, I have noticed two distinct styles of engaging in IFS Therapy. For some clients, they ask me for as many books, podcasts, resources, meditation apps and other ways to learn more about IFS that I can recommend. Like me, they have become hooked on the thinking and the ideas behind this modality, as well as participating in their own beautifully transformative and healing sessions.

At the very core of IFS is a key assumption.

We are not ONE thing, one entity, one singular personality. We are no more our worst moment any more than we are 100% our best highlight reel. We are complex and beautiful, flawed and incredible beings. And a big element of this is that we are MULTIPLE.

The best way of explaining this could be to think about the times when you feel caught between two ideas or options. Do I go to the gym or do I gobble down a whole packet of cookies? We have both sides inside of us. In IFS we call these parts, so in this case a ‘gym-goer part’ and a ‘cookie-lover’ part.

Learn about the 8 Cs and 5 Ps of Self in the transformative Internal Family Systems Therapy model.

Clients love getting to know, understand and heal their parts. Parts are at the centre of the Internal Family Systems approach and experience.

And yet, there is something else extremely beautiful with in the model, and inside all of us, which is NOT a part.

Despite all of this adversity in their families of origin, they landed on my virtual doorstep with a list of accolades, courageous acts and accomplishments as long as their arms. But often these same humans were clearly lacking the positive self-image that one might assume would go alongside that level of success and achievement.

Through extensive training in IFS, I have discovered the profound impact that self-compassion can have on personal healing and transformation. My aim is to provide a safe and nurturing space for clients, encouraging self-love, self-leadership, and healing using this gentle and empowering approach to wellbeing.

IFS addresses the complexity of human psychology by considering the internal system as a whole. It highlights the transformative power of integrating and harmonising internal "parts" for healing and growth. The profound impact of self-compassion and self-energy in IFS makes it a very holistic model.